Sex in Amsterdam, a liberal standpoint

When we think of Amsterdam, we think of the romantic canals, legal marijuana, and the ladies offering paid sex on the Red Light district windows. There is sex appeal all over the city and, if you know where to look, you will be satisfied. We are crazy about the city: we go to Amsterdam twice a year. We are not into paying for sex or marijuana, but the city surprises couples who want to spice things up in bed.

A Sra. F é fã do Fata Morgana, sua piscina aquecida e o buffet livre de sorvetes.
Mrs. F is a fan of Fata Morgana, its heated pools, and the all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet.

Sex shops in Amsterdam’s Red Light District

The city is filled with sex shops. You can buy anything: your fetish is your limit.  Most of them are in the Red Light District, but using Google Maps, you can easily find them in any district in Amsterdam. You will find more sex shops than in Cap d’Agde, but the liberal village has more kinky outfits and costume shops. The only place we’ve seen more and bigger sex shops is the kinky area of Paris, around Moon City sauna.

The most amusing window

The most amusing window at Red Light District is in the corner from Warmoeestraat with Lange Niezel. It is a large sex shop, but with more of a variety and an especially naughty window. It caters to simple fantasies, and sells all kinds of gadgets. As you can see in the photo above, solitary souls can buy gadgets to have sex with their shower knobs.

Vibrators: an aid for sex in Amsterdam

On the corner of  Oudebrugsteeg and Warmoeestraat, you will find a store that specializes in “fancy” vibrators. Instead of an underground vibe, it is well-lit, organized, and the products are displayed outside of their boxes. It seems to target shy females.

The mask shop

Mask Shop Venice, at Warmoesstraat 18A, specializes in masks: from the simplest to the fanciest, most complex, and original ones. It is a must-see for those who are going to an “Eyes Wide Shut” kind of party.

The best shop of all: from kinky outfits to lubricants

Love Boutique is the best shop. Besides their awesome service, there is a full line of kinky outfits, costumes, accessories, and lubricants. The products are very high-quality (and none of them are cheap). You will find it at Oudezijds Achterburgwal 78.

Swing Clubs: Sex time in Amsterdam

Surprisingly, Amsterdam doesn’t have many swing clubs, which are called parenclubs. There aren’t nearly as many options as Paris, nor a fancy parenclub such as Les Chandelles. There aren’t even as many swing houses as São Paulo. But they have one that makes up for everything: Fata Morgana.

Below, we will talk about all the currently open swing clubs. You don’t even need to waste time looking for others, these are the only ones in the city.

Fata Morgana is a synonym for sex in Amsterdam

Fata Morgana, o melhor clube de swing de Amsterdam, com sexo rolando solto.

Fata Morgana is one of the best swing clubs in Europe and it is conveniently located close to Amsterdam: we visited the club seven times and we had a blast every single time.

It is not as amazing as Fun4Two, but at least you don’t need to go on a trip. You can just take a quick Uber from your hotel in Amsterdam. Although the club is located in Muiden, which is another city, it takes less than 25 minutes to get there, and it costs about 30 Euros.

Fata Morgana is exclusive for couples and it opens on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. It is a large, clean space with a dance floor, free food and drinks, a maze, swimming pool, and a first-class structure. The public is very diverse and friendly.

If you are with someone in Amsterdam on a weekend, Fata Morgana is the place to go for sex.

Fata Morgana features a swimming pool with sex

The indoor pool is not as beautiful as the one at Fun4Two, but it is large and pleasant. The temperature is ideal, the towels are easily accessible, and the water is clean. We love pools: it is what keeps us awake after midnight. And the pools are an excellent place to make new friends.

The outdoor pool, which is only available on Sunday afternoons during the summer, is nice and worth the experience.

We love how Dutch clubs mix nightclubs, jacuzzi, and pools. In France, you have to choose: you either go to a fancy nightclub or you go to a liberal sauna.

Food and drinks

The food is delicious and of excellent quality, as well as the drinks. When it comes to food, this is the best club we’ve ever visited. On Fun4Two the drinks are too diluted, but in Fata Morgana, they are perfect.

OMG, they have an all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet, as well as thousands of candies! Help!

Mrs. F

Bedrooms

The bedrooms are great, clean, and they cater to all tastes. There are beds in the hallway, a room that looks like a jungle, and a BDSM dungeon. There is a comfortable smoking area, where we’ve never been, but we saw couples socializing there. Too bad we’re allergic to smoke.

Hours and prices

You can pay with your credit card

Friday9 p.m. to 3 p.m.100 Euros per couple
Saturday9 p.m. to 4 a.m.125 Euros per couple
Sunday1 p.m. to 11 p.m.120 Euros per couple

Dress code

After a certain time, you can no longer wear common outfits in the club. You must wear lingerie or other type of erotic outfits, such as kinky leather clothes. The couple must wear appropriate clothing.

On Fridays, you must wear these outfits from the moment you arrive. On Saturdays, you must change at 10 p.m., and on Sundays, at 6 p.m. If you arrive before these times, dress like you are going to a regular nightclub and take the special outfits in a bag.

The club offers a free locker room and each couple gets a locker with a key. You will have the space and infrastructure to change. There is also a hairdryer available. One of the most comfortable things about the club is that you can walk around with a bag, which allows you to take condoms, lube, and other gadgets. Naturally, never touch your phone.

The peppermint candy at the entrance is great! Fill your pockets!

Mrs. F

Sameplace

Honestly, Sameplace is not good. Is it conveniently located in downtown Amsterdam, it opens every day, and it is cheap. That is why we go. But it doesn’t come even close to other swing clubs.

For starters, it is more like an erotic bar than a full swing club.

Sameplace é um bar liberal com com sexo à vontade no centro de Amsterdam.

Except for Sundays, when the bar is usually reserved for couples, they allow the entrance of single men. That leads to there being more men than women. For couples who like gang banging, it must be perfect. But that is not our case.

Price

The entrance is usually free and you only pay for what you drink, always in cash. The prices are the usual for a bar.

Playground

There are two areas for sex: one near the bar and the dungeon. In the picture below, you can see the cage next to the bar, where there is usually some action.

A Dungeon do Sameplace, um bar liberal com com sexo à vontade no centro de Amsterdam.

The dungeon has that underground vibe, as expected. There aren’t any private rooms. Check it out:

A Dungeon do Sameplace, um bar liberal com com sexo à vontade no centro de Amsterdam.

Hours

  • Mondays: 7 p.m. to 12 a.m. (gay men only)
  • Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays: 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
  • Fridays and Saturdays: 9 p.m. to 3 a.m.
  • Sunday afternoon: 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. (there is usually a theme, check their website, you will need to buy tickets)
  • Sunday night: 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. (usually couples-only)

Club Paradise

Club Paradise Amsterdam Holanda

Club Paradise opens from Thursdays to Sundays, but they allow single men every day. That is why we haven’t been there yet (EDIT: WE WENT THERE, CHECK BELOW): we always prefer to go to Fata Morgana, which is couples-only. But we will try it out on December 21st and we’ll let you know! On their website, the place seems nice and the ticket includes snacks.

  • Thursdays: 50 Euros of consumption for couples, 8 p.m. – 1 a.m.
  • Fridays: 50 Euros of consumption for couples, 8 p.m. – 3 a.m.
  • Saturdays: 50 Euros of consumption for couples, 8 p.m. – 3 a.m.
  • Sundays: 25 Euros of consumption for couples, 3 p.m. – 12 a.m.

 [EDIT ON 21/12/19: WE CHECKED OUT THE PLACE!]

Na frente do Club Paradise
Mrs. F posing in front of Club Paradise

Club Paradise has the main lounge area, with a bar, buffet, and TV with porn, and it is one of the nicest ones we’ve ever seen. It is fancy and very large, filled with comfortable couches that encourage interaction.

The club has a large indoor pool, but it is not very inviting: unlike Fata Morgana and Fun4Two, the pool is cold. We didn’t enjoy it.

The food is very good: good cheese, many hot plates, and chocolates for dessert. We are always surprised by the quality of the food in the Dutch swing clubs.

To get into the club, women must wear lingerie and men must wear boxers. There is a locker room available and, for the ladies who forget to take their own, they sell some lingerie (EU$25 for a sexy one-piece, not bad).

In our opinion, Club Paradise has an attendance issue: the men x couples ratio was uncomfortable for us.

We were there on a Saturday, which is the busiest day. Until the time we left, which was early since we weren’t having much fun, there were three couples and twelve single men.

Na porta do Club Paradise em Amsterdam
Mrs. F at the entrance of Club Paradise

In summary: good infrastructure and food, but an audience that doesn’t make us want to come back.

Club Showboat

Club Showboat Netherlands Amsterdam

The Showboat opens from Thursdays to Sundays and they also allow single men to enter every day. We still haven’t been there, but we will try it out someday. The prices and hours vary according to the day of the week. The most interesting thing for us is that it is on a boat: very interesting.

The club is in Zaandijk, not Amsterdam. But that’s a 25-minute car ride away.

Sex and strip shows

Casa Rosso

Casa Rosso, um show de sexo ao vivo em Amsterdam.

Casa Rosso is an explicit sex show in a theatre, according to those who have been there. It costs 42 euros per person, without a time limit.

We weren’t interested in going, although we plan on going someday to write about it on the blog. Watching professional actors having sex for an hour is not exactly our idea of a sexy thing to do.

We think it might be something different and fun for newbies. Don’t get us wrong: we love to watch other people have sex. But not when it is their job. We like watching people having sex for pleasure.

Peepshow

The Peepshow is like Casa Rosso, but you pay per minute and you watch it from an individual booth. So we went to check it out for a few minutes. And it was what we expected – some more or less attractive people having mechanic sex or masturbation. It must be fun for those who never get to see people having sex live. We spent 10 days in Cap d’Agde in July watching people have sex all day long, for pleasure. We don’t get turned on by mechanic shows.

La vie en Proost, the worst place for sex in Amsterdam

TonTon é um programa bem melhor que o La vie en Proost.

La vie en Proost is a bar with topless waitresses. It is so, so bad, in so many aspects, that it’s hard for us to explain. It is a tourist trap. You will hate it.

We used a photo from the arcade at the TonTon Club, which is right across the street. Forget about La vie en Proost, go to TonTon, and you will have much more fun without getting robbed by the waitresses or paying 20 euro to drink beer looking at some ladies who must have retired from the Red Light.

Supperclub

Supperclub é um jantar com uma pegada sensual, em camas, e boate.

Supperclub is a sexy, but not sexual, show with dinner, that the audience watches while lying down in beds. After the show, the place becomes a nightclub. It is something fun and interesting to do, although we thought the show was longer than it should have been.

There is no sex at Amsterdam’s Supperclub, but it is a sexy and exciting environment

The five-course dinner is excellent and costs 69 euros, besides the drinks. Surprisingly, this place – although touristic – is not a tourist trap. It is a high-level show, with very good food, and nice service.

Other places with sex shows

These are other places we don’t personally know, but that you might be interested in checking out:

  • Bananenbar (Banana Bar/Banana Club) it is a strip club that charges 60 euros per hour, with free drinks. The Banana Club costs 25 euros per person and it includes two drinks, and you can get lap dances.
  • Hospital Bar is a strip club where the strippers are dressed as nurses. It costs 25 euros per person and it includes two drinks.

Paid sex in Amsterdam

There is prostitution in every city. Amsterdam legalized the activity by giving autonomy to the professionals. Every prostitute is an individual business owner and the law forbids intermediation, to reduce pimping.

Prostitutes pay taxes, they’re submitted to periodic medical exams, and they can get psychological treatments. They rent bedrooms with windows towards the streets, where they show off their bodies and attract clients. Some of them are beautiful, others are very ugly.

Many of the windows are in the Red Light district, which gets this name from the red lights that signal the women (the purple lights are for transvestites). The narrow streets are filled with windows with the working ladies, while the main streets in the neighborhoods are occupied by coffee shops, bars, restaurants, and sex shops.

The Red Light is not an underground or dangerous place: there is plenty of movement, families, tourists… it is a bustling and bohemian neighborhood.

How much does sex in Amsterdam cost?

A 20-minute session costs about 50 euros and it is performed in the same place: the professional closes the curtains and voilà. The price, of course, can be negotiated and it varies according to the professional and the client, but that is the base.

We don’t like paying for sex, so we don’t have real experiences with prostitutes. Besides, we can get 20-minute sex on a Monday night, at home, in our comfortable beds. But we enjoy walking around the Red Light District and we believe that legal prostitution is progress.

Legal drugs

Amsterdam is not all about sex: there are also drugs. Legal ones. From chocolate to liquor, from joints to god knows what. Oh, we are also addicted to salami.

Liquors in Wynand Fockink

Nem só de sexo vive Amsterdam: um dos melhores licores.

Do you want to warm up your afternoons in a place filled with locals during happy hour? Get one (or many) glasses of liquor at Wynand Fockink. They are amazing and served from 2 to 9 p.m. There aren’t any tables or food, only liquor. The servers are great and they love recommending mixes.

On Saturdays and Sundays, you can take tours to see their distillery, at 3 p.m., 4:30 p.m., 6 p.m., and 7:30 p.m.

Beer and salami at Gollem

This is the best place for a brew in Amsterdam: dozens of taps, good service, and the best salami in town. You will love their salami. Here’s a tip: you can find them for sale in one of the tents at Albert Cuyp Market or at the Etos supermarket, at Haarlemmerdijk 81-85.

Beer to go at De Bierkoning

Cerveja e sexo combinam com Amsterdam.

De Bierkoning, which means “the beer king”, sells beer from all over the world, with an amazing variety. If you are a fan of beer, you must visit this store. We bought hundreds of bottles and cans there: it is great to try out new brews.

Chemicals for sex in another dimension in Amsterdam

Innerspace is the best shop for legal drugs in Amsterdam. Don’t even waste your time going to another smartshop. It is at Spuistraat 108, their service is the best, and they have much more of a variety (they sell everything any other place sells) at a lower price. Just forget about everything else.

We won’t talk about their products because we don’t want to encourage anyone to use drugs. If you are interested, go into the store and talk to a salesperson, tell them about what you like or what you’re curious about. They have a lot of things available and not everything is in display: what you can’t see might be more interesting.

The shop is not the nicest one, but that’s irrelevant. Naturally, they don’t sell illegal drugs there (although many of the things they sell are illegal in other countries, so don’t try taking it in your luggage).

This shop sells products that might lead you to experience sex in another dimension in Amsterdam. But they can also kill you. So we won’t recommend anything: talk to a salesperson and find out for yourself, if you’d like.

Mr. F

Marijuana at the coffee-shops

Um beque pode ser um bom começo para o sexo em Amsterdam.

Amsterdam is filled with coffee shops that sell marijuana. Traditionally, marijuana and alcohol cannot be sold together and the establishments must choose one. Over the last years, this became more flexible and now you can find alcohol at many coffee shops.

These coffee shops sell rolled joints, as well as weed for you to roll your own joints. For the ones that come ready, it is usually not pure weed: in Holland, they traditionally mix it with tobacco.

Some tips:

  • Even if you are an experienced marijuana user, take it easy: the experience may be more intense.
  • Talk to the workers at the coffee shops, ask for guidance, they know a lot about it.
  • The Space Cakes are weed cakes, for those who want THC but not the smoke. The most traditional one is the Bulldog.
  • The Bulldog is famous and touristic, but that is not the choice for the local youth.
  • On the coffee shop counters, there is usually a jar with free tobacco, for those who want to add it to their marijuana.
  •  The  Grasshopper was one of the most famous coffee shops, but they stopped selling marijuana a few years ago.
  • The laws that regulate the use of marijuana are old and confusing. In summary, if you don’t carry more than five grams and don’t smoke in your hotel, there won’t be any issues.

Peanuts at Bier Fabriek

Energia para mais sexo em Amsterdam? Amendoins só ajudam.

Sexo, Amsterdam, and peanuts are a good mix. And you can have all-you-can-eat peanuts at Bier Fabriek: for free. It is close to the Red Light District and worth the visit.

Chocolate at Chocolátl

Recover your energy with chocolate! Amsterdam has one of the most amazing shops in the world, with all kinds of chocolates, their employees are experts in the subject, and you can try as many as you’d like! You must visit Chocolátl. Chocolate, sex, and Amsterdam are the best match.

Lodging, sex, and Amsterdam

Ink

The Ink Hotel is amazing, and it is our favorite. It is the best M. Gallery we’ve visited. Although it is a 4-star hotel, their services and bedrooms are 5-star quality.

The hotel was built in a set of four old Amsterdam buildings, which were completely renovated on the inside – but their outside was preserved. The theme is newspapers: the buildings were once the headquarters for an old Amsterdam newspaper. The bedrooms have drawings on the walls, like in the photo above.

Sex is great. In Amsterdam, it is amazing. Now, sex in Amsterdam in the comfort of the Ink, there are no words to describe it.

The Ink Hotel is a smoke-free establishment.

Unfortunately Amsterdam doesn’t have nude hotels like in Cap or even like in Brazil, but never mind: this normal hotel will be an excellent place to be while exploring the city and Fata Morgana.

They are so kind that we once emailed them to ask if they still had artichokes in their menu – we love artichokes! – and, when we arrived at our bedroom, we found this note.

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Leave your questions or recommendations below!

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